Experiential therapy is a treatment choice that more therapists and clinics are offering because of how it can help patients immerse themselves in important experiences. This level of immersion provides you with the chance to fully engage with traumatic moments in your life so that you can more easily break away from the harm that they have caused.

Here’s what you need to know about what experiential therapy is, who it can help, and what the experience may look like.

Defining Experiential Therapy: Emphasizing Action

Experiential therapy refers to a category of therapeutic techniques that relies on hands-on activities and tools to help patients re-enact and re-live situations from their past. The goal of experiential therapy is to focus specifically on the activities and not just to talk about the experiences.

Through these actions, the genuine attitudes, feelings, and beliefs that rest in your subconscious mind can appear. This allows you to gain a better understanding of who you are and what you can do to improve your mental health. You can also get a sense of what your feelings of success, self-esteem, and responsibility are tied to.

Types of Experiential Therapy

Experiential therapy can include a variety of options, depending on what’s more appropriate for each individual.

Music Therapy

Music therapy uses music’s natural mood-lifting properties to help you address mental health concerns like depression and anxiety. Writing music, analyzing music, dancing, or singing can all help you instill positive behavioral changes.

Nature Therapy

Nature therapy, also called adventure therapy, encourages you to experience nature and embrace the benefits it offers. Often, it involves wilderness guides, outdoor games, “forest bathing,” and recreational activities done in groups. Nature therapy is helpful for people of all ages, but it can be particularly useful for teenagers and young adults.

Animal Therapy

Interacting and caring for animals can have significant mental health benefits. You can make a connection with these nonjudgemental creatures that often reflect your own emotions. Equine therapy, in particular, can be very helpful in teaching you how to regulate your feelings while also involving physical activities outdoors.

Art Therapy

Being able to express yourself by drawing, coloring, or crafting can bring freedom in how you see and share your feelings. Because art is subjective, there’s no right or wrong way to express yourself. Art therapy can reduce shame and stress while also empowering you.

Psychodrama Therapy

This is the most common form of experiential therapy. Psychodrama therapy encourages you to recreate stressful and emotionally charged situations in a safe setting, allowing you to work through the negative emotions the experience creates.

In this way, you can step into another person’s shoes and see things from their perspective, helping you improve your communication skills and gain a better understanding of why the situation was so upsetting for you.

Body-Centered Therapy

Body-centered therapy refers to any therapeutic options that involve expressing yourself with your whole body, such as yoga, dancing, and breathwork. Moving your body can allow you to better process emotions, especially trauma.

Play Therapy

Play therapy is commonly used with children and involves therapeutic play to help address emotional and psychological issues that may be too difficult for them to put into words. It can be especially helpful in children who have suffered abuse or lived through other traumatic experiences.

When Is Experiential Therapy Helpful?

Experiential therapy can aid in the treatment of a variety of mental health challenges. These challenges can include:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Trauma
• Anger management
• Grief
• Eating disorders
• ADHD
• Compulsive behaviors
• Stress
• Mood disorders
• Phobias

It’s also commonly used during the treatment of substance use disorders and can be helpful even for people who don’t have a diagnosable condition but have difficulties with past experiences. Additionally, patients who are looking to change relationship dynamics can benefit from experiential therapy.

Experiential therapy often works best when combined with traditional talk therapy, including cognitive behavioral therapy. It can also be beneficial in both individual and group settings. The majority of experiential therapy options are appropriate for all age groups, while some, like play therapy, can be better suited to children.

Benefits of Experiential Therapy

Experiential therapy offers benefits that, when combined with talk therapy, allow you to gain a clearer understanding of your behaviors and emotions. With this knowledge, you can then make the changes you need to start feeling your best again.

Improving Emotional Processing

Even if you know you’re angry or sad, these emotions can have layers. To be able to address everything you’re feeling, you need to separate these layers, and that’s not always easy to do with talk therapy. Experiential therapy allows you to explore all the feelings you have around a particular situation and overcome them directly.

This emotional processing makes it easier to feel a less powerful emotional response over time as you address all of the emotions that a particular event or situation brings up. It’s a bit like exposure therapy.

Achieving Situational Resolution

With experiential therapy, you can recreate traumatic situations and examine not only what your response at the time was but also the emotions it caused. You can release any negative feelings you have about the situation as well, which opens the door to healing.

Building Empathy

By allowing you to see an event or situation from different perspectives, experiential therapy options like psychodrama can help you build empathy about what others around you are feeling. Once you’re able to understand why someone reacted the way they did, you can be better poised to accept and forgive, which is vital for your own mental health.

Reducing Avoidance

Traumatic events can leave you avoiding thoughts, memories, and even people that are connected to your trauma. Often, people think that avoiding what hurts them can help reduce stress, but it typically does the opposite. Avoidance can actually trigger anxiety and allow the emotions behind the avoidance to grow.

Boosting Creative Expression

Engaging in creative endeavors like music or art can be a great way of reducing stress and managing emotions. Instead of putting emotions aside, you can put them down on paper or sing them out, giving you further insight into your emotional responses.

Artistic hobbies can also become a form of self-care. These hobbies give you the opportunity to take some time for yourself and unwind while also helping to bolster your self-esteem.

Developing New Coping Skills

When you participate in many different activities, you learn better ways of coping with difficult emotions. For example, if you learn to use drawing as a way to express yourself and cope with stress, you can depend on this activity when you’re struggling.

What to Expect From Experiential Therapy

Because experiential therapy is so diverse, the exact course of your treatment can vary greatly from someone else’s. The focus, however, will generally be on “hands-on” experiences. It’s a client-centered therapy option that allows you to express preferences for certain therapeutic interventions.

Some therapists work with one form of experiential therapy, while others incorporate many types into their practice. For example, some therapists offer both adventure therapy and equine therapy, while others may prefer music and art therapy for their patients.

No matter the intervention you engage in, your therapist will focus on your perception and awareness of what you experience as you draw or sing a song. You can then speak about the emotions the activity brought up. This can happen during the activity or after, such as in a talk session.

Examples of Experiential Therapy Activities

You may wonder exactly what trying experiential therapy may involve. Take a closer look at some examples of what this therapeutic option can look like in real life.

Empty Chair

In this exercise, you sit in front of an empty chair and begin a dialogue with the person you’ve had a conflict with. It may also be an aspect of yourself that you want to address. The exercise lets you have an imagined conversation that can help you give voice to your emotions and gain resolution to issues.

Expressive Dance

During an expressive dance exercise, you move to music in any way you want. You’ll usually need to close your eyes. This activity can suit both individual and group therapy sessions.

Hiking

Hiking lets you be outside in nature, which can help reduce stress and improve your mood. You also have the chance to build self-confidence in your physical abilities. It can be helpful for many mental health conditions, including substance use disorders.

Equine Leading

Leading a horse through a series of obstacles can help you with problem-solving skills and building confidence. You can also learn to observe the horse’s behavior and reflect on how it relates to your own emotions.

Guided Imagery and Music

In this exercise, you listen to a piece of music while engaging in guided imagery that your therapist has created. For instance, your therapist might encourage you to visualize a peaceful situation while listening to soothing music.

Creative Writing

With creative writing, you can explore difficult subjects from a safe viewpoint. Creative writing encourages your imagination and also offers a sense of accomplishment that boosts self-esteem.

Soliloquy

During this exercise, you get to give a “speech” about what you’re experiencing, and you’re encouraged to talk about your feelings. An example would be speaking about the death of a loved one and what that experience meant for you. Soliloquy can help you pinpoint the variety of emotions you feel.

Camping

Camping gives you the chance to unplug from your regular life and enjoy the calm of being outdoors. It can be a great option for group therapy and encourages you to build connections with others.

Finding Your Balance Through Action at APN Lodge

Experiential therapy is one of the many therapeutic options available for people who are struggling with mental health concerns, relationship problems, and anything else that affects their self-esteem and psychological well-being. With experiential therapy, you give yourself the permission to play, removing inhibitions and focusing more on action.

Experiential therapy can work very well when combined with talk therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy. You can uncover emotions in the activity and then address them in the CBT session so that you can start making behavioral changes. It can be challenging to make changes without first understanding the underlying emotions that are causing problems.

At APN Lodge, we offer a wide range of treatment options to help you address the obstacles you face, including experiential therapy. Whether you’re battling a substance use disorder, depression, or a combination of mental health concerns, our team can help you find the most appropriate treatment plan for your needs.

Contact us to speak with one of our experts and get started on finding the path to wellness today.

References

• Dijkstra, Maria T., and Astrid C. Homan. “Engaging in Rather than Disengaging from Stress: Effective Coping and Perceived Control.” Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 7, 2016, p. 206818, https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01415. Accessed 15 Nov. 2024.
• Keller, Jennifer et al. “Forest Bathing Increases Adolescents’ Mental Well-Being: A Mixed-Methods Study.” International journal of environmental research and public health vol. 21,1 8. 20 Dec. 2023, doi:10.3390/ijerph21010008
• Stewart, Joanna, et al. “Music Use for Mood Regulation: Self-Awareness and Conscious Listening Choices in Young People With Tendencies to Depression.” Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 10, 2019, p. 452056, https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01199. Accessed 15 Nov. 2024.
• Tomaszewski, Crystal et al. “Impact of dance therapy on adults with psychological trauma: a systematic review.” European journal of psychotraumatology vol. 14,2 (2023): 2225152. doi:10.1080/20008066.2023.2225152

People in the LQBTQ+ community have an even more difficult time finding healthcare professionals and spaces they feel they can trust. The search for affirming care can be challenging, but a lack of this care can have serious consequences for those seeking help.

What Is Affirming Care?

Stigmas surrounding the LGBTQ+ community combined with stigmas about mental health are a powerful combination.

The importance of and common misunderstandings about gender-affirming care have been in the news lately, but LGBTQ+ issues extend far beyond this issue.

Heterosexist bias — the belief that heterosexuality is the only so-called normal way to express sexuality — creates a barrier between people in the LGBTQ+ community and the high-quality healthcare they deserve.

Even when researchers do not want to ignore or disparage non-heterosexual people, the prevalence of heterosexist bias in medical and psychological research can harm queer-identified people.

By not including research questions, methods, or interpretations of results that relate to the experience of being LGBTQ+, scientific studies may fail to produce information that is helpful to those who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. The same is true when an LGBTQ+ person enters a therapist’s office.

Affirming care can be as simple as including nonbinary pronouns on an intake form. In this and other small ways, therapists who show that they respect the dignity of LGBTQ+ clients can create a safe environment for healing.

According to Mental Health America, nearly 40% of those who identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual report that they have struggled with mental health in the past year. Over half report being threatened and feeling that they have fewer employment opportunities than heterosexual people. In addition, around 22% of transgender individuals report that they avoid healthcare because of discrimination concerns.

The need for affirming care is obvious. While being LGBTQ+ is not a mental illness, living with the prejudice, fear, and isolation that many members of the community encounter can lead to depression and anxiety.

Regardless of a client’s sexual or gender identity, a therapist must cultivate a feeling of safety before entering the emotionally difficult territory required to address mental health concerns. Finding small and large ways to let LGBTQ+ clients know they are welcome, respected, and fully accepted is care that affirms their humanity and builds trust.

A Note on Gender-Affirming Care

Gender-affirming care falls under the larger umbrella of affirming care. The term refers specifically to healthcare for anyone whose internal gender identification is different from the identification that was assigned to them at birth.

Mental health professionals might provide gender-affirming care in individual or family therapy sessions or offer age-appropriate education on the topics of gender and sexuality. Additionally, a mental health evaluation is required for those who choose gender-affirming surgeries.

Many transgender people live with anxiety, depression, and other mental health concerns. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, members of the LGBTQ+ community have up to a 2.5 times higher risk for anxiety and depression than straight and gender-conforming people.

A therapist who understands that these conditions are part of a more complex issue is better equipped to support their clients.

Recognizing Affirming Care

What does affirming care look like, and how do you know when a health professional offers the care you need?

A therapist who offers affirming care is one who has familiarized themselves with issues that are important to the LGBTQ+ community. They may use customized medical forms with multiple and nonbinary gender pronoun options or display versions of the pride flag in their waiting room.

If you’re not fortunate enough to have an LGBTQ-friendly therapist or program recommended to you, it’s hard to know where to start. One option is to ask when you call for an appointment. Any healthcare professional who offers affirming care will be happy to share that information with you.

5 Benefits of Affirming Care for the LGBTQ+ Population

Because those who identify as LGBTQ+ are at greater risk for developing mental health disorders, they might consider making their mental health a priority. Stressors related to work, family, and addiction disorders are universal, but these stressors may be exacerbated by being part of a marginalized group.

For example, in addition to worrying about his sick parent, a gay man might also worry about reaching for his spouse’s hand for comfort in the hospital waiting room. These extra stressors add a significant mental health burden over time.

Other stressors that members of the LGBTQ+ community may face include:

• Rejection from family or peers
• Social exclusion
• Discrimination in the workplace
• Bullying
• Violence and harassment
• Stigma
• Lack of access to affirming support and therapy

Working with a therapist who supports their identity and recognizes the unique challenges they face can improve treatment outcomes for LGBTQ+ clients. That is the primary goal of affirming care.

1. Build Resilience

Resilience is how people cope with psychological stress and adversity. Because LGBTQ+ clients face extra stressors and adversity that the straight community does not, therapists who provide affirming care are better prepared to help their clients build resilience.

Coping strategies may include involving oneself in supportive organizations or connecting with LGBTQ+ peers. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help clients reframe negative thoughts and behaviors to build resilience.

2. Offer Realistic Coping Strategies

Regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, human beings need coping strategies to deal with life’s everyday problems. Those in the LGBTQ+ community face additional stressors such as harassment for simply being who they are.

Affirming therapists can provide effective and specific strategies for marginalized people. Group therapy programs designed for LGBTQ+ members allow participants to share strategies and learn from the successes of others. The Queer Trauma Recovery Program, for example, focuses on issues that are specific to queer clients as they learn new ways to cope with trauma.

3. Boost Self-Acceptance

LGBTQ+ individuals face discrimination and societal stigma from an early age. It’s nearly impossible not to internalize these negative thoughts and impressions to some degree. It’s even harder for those who lack appropriate support networks or positive role models.

Affirming care includes therapeutic support that helps clients overcome negative self-views. Having a better self-image can increase a person’s confidence and strengthen their personal relationships. Techniques in which therapists advocate for and validate the needs of their LGBTQ+ clients can promote self-acceptance.

4. Connect With Resources

Whether a person is seeking support for depression caused by chronic pain or a substance use disorder, recovery is an ongoing process. Finding LGBTQ+-friendly resources can be difficult, and a client may be concerned about privacy when seeking treatment.

An affirming therapist can put their clients in touch with a myriad of resources, both in-person and online.

5. Address Intersectionality Issues

“Intersectionality” refers to the ways a person’s identities affect their opportunities or lack thereof.

For example, a Black transgender woman raising children alone must overcome obstacles that differ from those of a gay white man with no children. While they are both members of the LGBTQ+ community and must deal with the stressors of marginalization, they face very different challenges.

Affirming care involves understanding and acknowledging these differences. A therapist who practices affirming care recognizes the diverse experiences within the LGBTQ+ community and provides a safe space to explore individual concerns.

Affirming Care and Suicide

A 2023 national survey conducted by the Trevor Project found that 41% of LGBTQ+ youth had considered suicide in the previous 12 months. The number was even higher for nonbinary and transgender youth. Some of the risk factors associated with suicide among this group include:

• Minority stress (marginalization)
• Rejection
• Lack of social support
• Bullying
• Assault
• Discrimination

A lack of affirming spaces is also a risk factor. Providing affirming care may literally be a life-saving action. The Trevor Project’s report indicates that LGBTQ+ youth who have trusted adults in their lives have a lower rate of suicide and a higher rate of self-acceptance.

Young people aren’t the only ones at risk for suicide. However, a study by the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law found that a majority of suicide attempts among the LGBTQ+ community occurred within five years of the individual first identifying their sexuality.

Therapists who practice affirming care must acknowledge this risk of suicide for clients of all ages. Coming out presents unique challenges that young people may not be prepared to handle emotionally or intellectually. However, years of isolation and discrimination also pose a threat to LGBTQ+ adults.

Affirming Care and Substance Use Disorder

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration states that gay, lesbian, and bisexual adults have a higher risk of substance use than straight adults. Adult members of the LGBTQ+ community are two to three times more likely to use illicit drugs and develop a substance use disorder.

Like the higher risk of suicide, the higher risk of a substance use disorder may be related to the stigma, rejection, and trauma LGBTQ+ people face. Some may turn to drugs or alcohol to find temporary relief from these stressors or relief from depression and anxiety.

Concerns about facing discrimination in a recovery program are valid, especially for transgender people. Slurs and microaggressions like misgendering create a hostile environment that prevents healing and may worsen feelings of rejection and isolation.

Addiction treatment programs that are tailored to the LGBTQ+ community provide hope and a safe space for healing to begin.

The Need for Affirming Care

Approximately 7.6% of U.S. adults identify as members of the LGBTQ+ community, according to the most recent Gallup poll. That number represents around 20 million people, and it has doubled since 2012, when Gallup first measured LGBTQ+ identification.

Affirming care involves recognizing that members of the LGBTQ+ community face different challenges than those who are heterosexual. The goal is to create a safe environment for LGBTQ+ clients to receive mental health treatment from professionals who understand the stressors and issues gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer people are dealing with.

There are multiple benefits to care that affirms an individual’s lived experience. It enables them to find community resources, improve their confidence, and learn new coping strategies for dealing with challenges. Affirming care may also help reduce suicide rates and assist those seeking recovery from addiction disorders.

Affirming care helps create a healthier society. It does not encourage people to question their gender or offer any agenda except one: access to better healthcare for all.

If you or someone you love is a member of the LGBTQ+ community and needs support for a substance use disorder or another mental health concern, call us at 855.510.4585 or fill out our confidential contact form today.

References

• Brenner, Brad. “Understanding Anxiety and Depression for LGBTQ People.” Adaa.org, 2019, adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/understanding-anxiety-and-depression-lgbtq.
• Matouk, Kareen, and Melina Wald. “Gender-Affirming Care Saves Lives.” Columbia University Department of Psychiatry, Columbia University, 30 Mar. 2022, www.columbiapsychiatry.org/news/gender-affirming-care-saves-lives.
• Mental Health America. “LGBTQ+ Communities and Mental Health.” Mental Health America, 2020, www.mhanational.org/issues/lgbtq-communities-and-mental-health.
• “More than 60% of Suicide Attempts among LGBQ People Happen within Five Years of Realizing They Are LGBQ.” Williams Institute, 1 July 2021, williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/press/suicide-coming-out-press-release/.
• The Trevor Project. “Facts about LGBTQ Youth Suicide.” The Trevor Project, 1 Jan. 2024, www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/facts-about-lgbtq-youth-suicide/.
• SAMHSA. “SAMHSA Releases New Data on Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Behavioral Health.” Www.samhsa.gov, 6 June 2023, www.samhsa.gov/newsroom/press-announcements/20230613/samhsa-releases-new-data-lesbian-gay-bisexual-behavioral-health.
• “What Percentage of Americans Are LGBT?” Gallup.com, 3 Mar. 2021, news.gallup.com/poll/332522/percentage-americans-lgbt.aspx.

To some, the idea of solitude might seem outdated or even undesirable. Many of us are constantly surrounded by people—whether through social media, work, or daily interactions—leaving little time to be alone. However, carving out moments of solitude can have a profound impact on mental health.

While humans are inherently social creatures, time spent alone provides an essential counterbalance to the demands of daily life, allowing for reflection, relaxation, and even personal growth. That’s why we’re exploring the psychological, emotional, and physical benefits of solitude for your mental health. If you’re looking for ways to improve your mental and emotional well-being, this one’s for you!

1. Promotes Self-Awareness

One of the most significant benefits of spending time alone is that it encourages self-awareness. When you’re alone, without the influence of others, you can turn inward and explore your thoughts, emotions, and motivations in a safe space.

In this solitary state, you have the opportunity to assess your life, your actions, and your goals more clearly. Taking time for introspection helps you understand your true feelings about situations. This, in turn, allows for greater personal growth and emotional intelligence.

When you’re alone and not preoccupied with social interactions, you may realize that certain behaviors or choices no longer align with your values or desires. Even more important, spending time alone gives you the space to make those adjustments, helping you to live a more authentic and fulfilling life.

2. Reduces Stress and Anxiety

Constantly interacting with others, whether in person or online, can be mentally and emotionally taxing. Social expectations, work pressures, and the need to keep up appearances can contribute to feelings of stress and anxiety. Therefore, solitude offers a reprieve from these demands.

By taking time to be alone, you can disconnect from external pressures and focus on being yourself. This helps reduce the overall mental load, allowing your brain to relax and recharge. Whether you are practicing mindfulness, meditating, or simply enjoying some quiet time, you allow yourself an opportunity to release tension and alleviate anxiety.

In addition, many people experience social anxiety, which can be draining over time. Taking breaks from social interactions can help reduce this anxiety and offer a sense of peace. Solitude offers a safe space to be yourself without the fear of judgment or criticism.

3. Enhances Creativity

Many great artists, writers, and thinkers have credited solitude as a crucial element in their creative processes. Spending time alone allows your mind to wander, explore new ideas, and make unexpected connections. Without the constant input of others’ thoughts and opinions, your brain has the freedom to think more deeply and creatively.

In a solitary environment, distractions are minimized, allowing you to focus entirely on your thoughts and creative pursuits. Whether you’re writing, painting, or brainstorming, time alone fosters an environment where new ideas can flourish.

Researchers have found that people are more likely to experience “aha” moments when they are alone and relaxed. These moments of insight often arise when your mind is free from external noise, enabling you to think more deeply and outside the box.

4. Improves Problem-Solving Abilities

When you’re constantly surrounded by others, your decision-making and problem-solving processes may be clouded by external opinions and social dynamics. However, spending time alone allows you to approach problems with clarity and objectivity. Without the pressure to conform to groupthink or seek approval from others, you can explore different solutions and evaluate the pros and cons more deliberately.

Solitude creates the mental opportunity to think critically and solve problems with greater focus. By stepping away from the demands of social interactions, you give yourself the ability to think independently and make well-informed decisions.

5. Increases Emotional Resilience

Emotional resilience refers to the ability to adapt to stress, challenges, and adversity. Spending time alone can help you develop this resilience by encouraging self-reliance and emotional regulation. When you’re alone, you’re forced to rely on yourself for comfort, validation, and motivation, rather than seeking it from external sources.

Therefore, learning to navigate your emotions independently strengthens your emotional coping skills, making you better equipped to handle life’s ups and downs. As you become more comfortable with solitude, you also build inner strength and confidence in your ability to manage difficult emotions.

This emotional resilience extends to your interactions with others as well. By cultivating self-awareness and emotional intelligence through solitude, you become more capable of maintaining healthy boundaries and handling conflicts without becoming overwhelmed.

6. Boosts Productivity and Focus

While being in the company of others is often enjoyable, it can sometimes hinder productivity. Social interactions can be distracting, leading to interruptions that can derail focus. In contrast, time spent alone offers a quiet, distraction-free environment where you can concentrate fully on the task at hand.

Solitude helps you get into a “flow state,” a mental state where you’re deeply focused and immersed in your work. Being in this flow state can also help with any feelings of loneliness or isolation that may arise as you spend more time alone.

In this state, you’re more productive, efficient, and able to complete tasks with greater attention to detail. Whether you’re working on a project, studying, or pursuing a personal goal, time alone allows you to focus on your priorities without external distractions.

7. Strengthens Relationships

While it may seem counterintuitive, spending time alone can actually improve your relationships with others. When you take time to be alone and reflect on your own needs, you’re better equipped to show up authentically in your relationships. You become more aware of your boundaries, desires, and emotional needs, which leads to healthier and more fulfilling connections.

Solitude also allows you to recharge, so when you do engage with others, you’re more present, attentive, and emotionally available. Instead of feeling drained or overwhelmed by constant interaction, you approach your relationships from a place of balance and emotional clarity.

Moreover, time alone gives you the space to miss and appreciate your loved ones. Absence often makes the heart grow fonder, and when you take breaks from socializing, you’re more likely to value and cherish the time you spend with those you care about.

8. Encourages Personal Growth

Personal growth requires introspection, self-assessment, and the ability to make changes based on your own values and experiences. Therefore, time spent alone is crucial for this process. When you’re constantly surrounded by others, it’s easy to get caught up in social dynamics and lose sight of your own personal development.

Solitude allows you to step back from the noise of daily life and focus on your own growth. It gives you the space to assess your life choices, set goals, and reflect on areas you’d like to improve. Whether it’s developing a new skill, addressing unhealthy habits, or cultivating emotional intelligence, solitude fosters an environment where personal growth can thrive.

9. Facilitates Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation are practices that encourage present-moment awareness and emotional regulation. Both are often practiced in solitude, and for good reason. When you’re alone, free from distractions, you can focus on your breath, thoughts, and emotions in a non-judgmental way.

Spending time alone allows for deep introspection and mindfulness. Whether you’re taking a walk in nature, journaling, or sitting in quiet meditation, these moments of solitude can significantly enhance your emotional well-being. Regular practice of mindfulness or meditation can reduce stress, improve emotional regulation, and increase overall happiness.

Solitude offers the perfect opportunity to engage in these practices, helping you become more centered and connected to the present moment.

10. Cultivates a Sense of Independence

Spending time alone helps you develop a sense of independence and self-sufficiency. When you’re alone, you rely on your own resources—both mental and emotional—to navigate the world. This strengthens your confidence in your ability to handle life’s challenges without needing constant support from others.

By embracing solitude, you learn to enjoy your own company and develop a deeper sense of self. You realize that you don’t always need external validation or companionship to feel fulfilled. This sense of independence can be incredibly empowering, as it allows you to live life on your own terms and make decisions based on your values and desires.

How to Make Sure You Get the Most Out of Your Alone Time

Not all alone time is created equal. While simply being alone can offer a reprieve from social interaction, the quality of that time matters if you want to experience its full mental health benefits. For example, spending hours alone binge-watching Netflix or endlessly scrolling through social media may offer a temporary distraction, but it won’t provide the same level of rejuvenation or personal growth as more mindful, intentional activities will.

To get the most out of your alone time, it’s essential to engage in activities that nourish your mind and soul. Reflective practices such as journaling, meditating, or even going for a walk in nature can help you connect with your inner self, foster creativity, and recharge your mental and emotional batteries. These activities allow you to clear your mind, process your emotions, and cultivate a deeper sense of peace and clarity.

Further Resources for Support

Spending time alone can be a powerful way to reconnect with yourself and gain insight into your emotions, thoughts, and overall well-being. However, as you spend more time in solitude, you might discover challenges or struggles that go deeper than you initially thought. It’s not uncommon for moments of reflection to reveal unresolved emotions, stressors, or even mental health issues that need additional support.

If you find that certain feelings or problems persist during your alone time—such as anxiety, depression, overwhelming stress, or difficulties managing your emotions—this could be a sign that you might benefit from professional support.

Therapy can offer you the tools, guidance, and additional support you need to navigate these challenges effectively. Seeking help from a mental health professional is a healthy and proactive way to address any underlying issues you might uncover during your solo moments.

Remember, alone time is not a substitute for mental health treatment. While solitude can foster growth and self-awareness, reaching out for help when needed is an essential part of maintaining your mental well-being.

If you notice you could use more support, check out our suite of services to you on your journey to health and wellness. Consider scheduling a session with a therapist or booking a free consultation to further explore our traditional and alternative mental health resources. This way, you can ensure you’re taking care of your mental health in a balanced way.

Embracing Solitude for Mental Health

While social interactions are essential for a balanced life, spending time alone is equally important for your mental health. Solitude promotes self-awareness, reduces stress, enhances creativity, and fosters personal growth. By embracing moments of quiet reflection, you can strengthen your emotional resilience, improve your relationships, and cultivate a deeper sense of independence.

If solitude feels intimidating at first, start by setting aside small pockets of time each day for yourself. Whether it’s taking a walk, journaling, or practicing mindfulness, these moments of intentional solitude can have a profound impact on your mental health and overall well-being.

Additionally, remember that help is always available and that you don’t have to do it all alone. Achieving mental stability is all about finding the balance between going inward and reaching outward for support when needed. If you find yourself in need of assistance, give us a call at 877.507.7675 or complete our confidential online contact form.

References

• ““Alone Time” Keeps Relationships Healthy.” Psychology Today, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/201803/alone-time-keeps-relationships-healthy.
• “Benefits of Mindfulness – HelpGuide.org.” HelpGuide.org, 4 Dec. 2018, www.helpguide.org/mental-health/stress/benefits-of-mindfulness.
• Chowdhury, Madhuleena Roy. “What Is Emotional Resilience? (+6 Proven Ways to Build It).” PositivePsychology.com, 22 Jan. 2019, positivepsychology.com/emotional-resilience/.
• “Emotional Intelligence.” Psychology Today, 2019, www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/emotional-intelligence.
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Turk McBride, a former athletic defensive lineman in the NFL, was known for his ability to play both defensive end and tackle. Drafted in the second round of 2007 by the Kansas City Chiefs, McBride spent six seasons in the league, also playing for the Detroit Lions, New Orleans Saints, and Chicago Bears. However, when his NFL career came to a close, he was forced to face one his biggest challenges yet—addressing his mental health issues head on.

When Turk first came to APN for healing, he was still stuck in his previous NFL-mindset: he didn’t believe there was strength in weakness. However, as Turk began to surrender to the process, he learned just how powerful and strong vulnerability really is.

In the APN podcast episode, I Had to Open Up About My Mental Health to Win: Recovery x Turk McBride, Turk shared how he applied the same principles utilized throughout his NFL career to his recovery process. Now, he’s able to use these fundamentals to better support himself on his journey to mental health and wellness. To learn more about Turk’s story, continue reading the article below or check out the full podcast on our YouTube channel.

When One Door Closes Another One Opens

For most of Turk’s life, he had been working towards his goal of becoming a professional athlete. When he finally achieved that goal, he did everything in his power to maintain that status. However, when it was all taken away, Turk was left with the harrowing reality of his depression.

“I stopped playing football in 2014 and I fell into a major depression,” Turk said. “I never assumed I would be one of those guys [but] when your wife is telling you you’re depressed, that’s the last thing you want to hear … I looked at myself in the mirror and said, ‘Hey—who do you want to become as a person, as a husband, and as a father?’ And I started taking the advice that my wife [was giving me] to heart.”

Gradually, Turk became more aware of the things he was struggling with.

“I feel like the NFL broke up with me via text message,” Turk said. “Like, I put so much time and effort and energy in and it just was [a shock to be dismissed so easily]. I’d seen several [of] my friends commit suicide and [I knew that] if something drastic [didn’t] change, [I] may be in that category.”

Eventually, Turk agreed to seek treatment at All Points North Lodge in Edwards, Colorado. Still, this choice didn’t come without sacrifices.

“I left two days after my daughter’s birthday and wanted to stay for 30 days, [though] I wound up staying for 60,” Turk said. “I missed my daughter’s first day of school just by being here, so it was extremely difficult. However, sometimes you have to go through that difficult time to really become who you need to be for those people. [Even though] I will never get that moment back … understanding how to be the best father … can last for as long as God has me on this earth. Personally, I’d rather lose that moment in time to be able to get so much more.”

From Hesitant to Humbled

Even though Turk agreed to go to treatment, he struggled to be open to the process at first.

“I had so much anxiety [and] fear,” Turk said. “I really didn’t want to open up [or] make any friends. [I thought], I’m only here to shut my wife up … All I gotta do is just pray a little bit and read some scriptures [and] I’ll be fine … But once we got in that first group and I saw someone that looks like me and played [who was] being vulnerable and open it [was] like, Oh. And then you hear your peers start telling stories and you’re like, Well okay. Well let me open up as well.”

Even though Turk didn’t come to APN to make friends, he certainly left with more than he bargained for.

“I [wound] up creating brotherhoods … just by having [gone] through what we went through,” Turk said. “The only thing that felt close to that was training camp when you know you’re going through adversity and pain and suffering [together]. When you’re going through all that, you build that camaraderie with a person. When we’re extremely emotional, vulnerable, [and] open … we wind up building something [truly meaningful].”

Turk shared what an emotional rollercoaster the entire APN process was for him.

“I mean this is something that’s quite difficult,” Turk said. “When I first came here I thought it was going to be one way … but after the my first day or two I’m like, Okay. I’m tired of crying now … But to be honest it was amazing for me being able to unpack around my peers – around people that I played with – [and] hearing different journeys so I can relate [and] feel like I’m not alone.”

Learning the Strength in Vulnerability

Part of what was so difficult for Turk at first was learning that there is strength in vulnerability.

“Being an athlete, we’re so accustomed to being un-vulnerable,” Turk said. “We have to be so strong. We have to be so mentally tough. And to be a professional when you come here is a total opposite. It’s—you have to be vulnerable. You have to open up. You have to be caring. You have to be loving, to understand who you really are, so you can become who you need to be.”

While this shift didn’t happen right away for Turk, he slowly began to learn that APN was a safe place for him to be himself.

“Day one I was extremely isolated,” Turk said. “[Two weeks in, I] slowly start[ed] eating with people … having one-on-ones with people and start[ed] building … Being vulnerable in this new situation—it was funny. But, also at the same time, it was great.”

When Turk wasn’t sure how to access this new skill of showing vulnerability, the professionals at APN led the way.

“Lara, [an APN therapist], introduced our group to this thing called a trauma egg,” Turk said. “From that point on, the first trauma egg story that I heard, it was like, This is my brother right here … Ever since then, I was able to be extremely vulnerable. [Now, post treatment, we have] a group text message where every day we’re just sending each other devotionals—just giving one another encouraging, motivational words … we’re still as close as we were when we [were] here.”

Even though Turk now has lasting friendships that were forged from vulnerability, it took time for him to shift from his previous NFL-mindset.

“When I came here and I saw the other former NFL players, it was a sense of comfort but also a sense of anxiety. Because, hey, I may have to be vulnerable in front of these guys where [in the past], I broke a forearm in [a] football game, [put] a piece of tape on it, pop[ped] two Tylenol, [and] finished the game with four more tackles. So it’s all about how tough you are … Coming here, it was the total opposite.”

The APN Mission

It’s not every day that a bunch of former NFL players get together in such a vulnerable, transformative way. However, there’s something unique about the APN program that truly sets it apart from other treatment options available today.

“I had a great relationship with everyone [at APN],” Turk said. “When it was time for me to leave it felt like I was leaving friends that I knew for a very long time and it was [hard]. I learned so much from everyone that was here from the upper management [to] the ladies that [were] just helping with the laundry. Everyone here, it seems like they had a mission or [that the] APN mission was embedded in them. So it was enlightening for me to see so many people caring because that’s a world that I’m not accustomed to … People start[ed] caring about Turk when I started playing football … so people caring for your well-being and your safety and your wellness—it was left field to me … What they’re doing [at APN] is not an occupation. It’s not a job. It’s not a career. It’s a calling. You know God had to put something on their heart for them to [give] that serving.”

As Turk began to realize just how much the APN team was invested in him, he also had to learn how to shift his mindset around transactional behavior.

“One of the things that I am learning to get over or reprogram myself [about is] that life is not transactional,” Turk said. “Coming here is like, Okay. They’re doing all this. They’re taking out time to help me. What the hell do they want from me? And it’s like, they don’t want anything. So they helped me in more than one way.”

Applying Football Principles to the Healing Journey

Even though some of what Turk learned in the NFL was counter to what he was learning at APN, there were other ways he learned to apply his professional athletic psyche to his healing approach.

“One of the main things that I kind of looked at that was in my football career [was] I always did the things I didn’t want to do,” Turk said. “I didn’t want to come [to APN] at all. I didn’t want to be vulnerable. I didn’t want to open up. I didn’t want to unpack what was packed up for years or even decades. So me not wanting to come here was really a sign for me that I really needed to be here.”

Just like with previous adversities that Turk had faced in his professional career, he applied the same gritty can-do attitude to everything he did at APN.

“I feel as though being an athlete helps a little in this particular journey,” Turk said. “Having to overcome adversity. Having to do things you’re unaccustomed to doing. Or having to do things to become better … I just take the journey of football and translate into this. If you’re not getting better, then you’re getting worse. So every day I’m taking the proper steps for me to get better in something. It may be communication. It may be love. It may be how to accept love. It may just be having patience. Every day I just try to get better.”

Doing this work day in and day out is certainly not easy. However, Turk highlights why the work is worth it.

“Sometimes you have to punt the ball. Sometimes it’s a turnover. Sometimes some things happen, but you have to understand with that there’s an adversity. And with that adversity, you can build strength … You have to make certain sacrifices and … those sacrifices [will] hurt in [the] moment, but it helps you out on the back end.”

The Journey Continues

Today, Turk understands that his journey continues.

“[I’m] taking one step at a time, just trying to become the best version of me as possible,” Turk said. “I may not be who I want to be at this moment, but I can see it. So as long as I … see it, then I can always work to it … taking one step at a time … [APN] gave me a start[ing] point. Like, Okay. This is the data that we collected thus far and I guess we need to go in this direction [now].”

While the “data” and the measurement of progress is important, Turk also understands that there’s a greater picture that includes ongoing setbacks, trials, and tribulations.

“Sometimes you don’t have a good day. Sometimes you don’t have a good week. Sometimes you don’t have a good month. But it’s still that understanding [that this] is [a] journey. Sometimes I have to go take a detour, but I still need to get back to the destination.”

Because the healing journey is long, Turk has recognized the importance of acknowledging small wins along the way.

“What I learned here [is] you have to also celebrate the small victories,” Turk said. “You just can’t celebrate a huge accomplishment. You have to, you know, enjoy the journey.”

Reframing Expectations

Part of learning how to enjoy the journey involves reframing expectations.

“You just have to really have the proper expectations for [yourself],” Turk said. “[At first], I didn’t have the proper expectations. [I’d say], ‘Okay. I’m gonna come here. I’m going to be here for 30 days. And I’m gonna be better.’ Realistically, [that’s not] having the proper expectations.”

Now, Turk just expects himself to show up while trying to detach from the outcomes.

“I feel like you get promoted [in this journey], but you never graduate,” Turk said. “No matter what, I’m not gonna give up. No matter the adversity, trials, [or] tribulations, I’m going to be relentless [in] try[ing] to be my best self.”

If you’re interested in learning more about All Points North and our addiction, trauma, and mental health recovery programs (including our Athletes Track), submit our confidential contact form or call us at 855.934.1178 today. You never know how good your life can get when you allow yourself to receive the gifts of healing.

More From Turk

Listen and watch the Turk’s episode of Recovery x APN below, and find more episodes on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts.



One of the most common feelings many mothers experience is “mom guilt,” which can be described as a sense of inadequacy or failure in meeting the often-unrealistic standards of perfect motherhood. But why do so many moms struggle with mom guilt when taking care of their own physical and mental well-being? And most importantly, what can moms do to put their mental health first without feeling guilty? Keep reading to find out.

How Does Motherhood Affect a Woman’s Mental Health?

Motherhood is a life-altering experience that affects every aspect of a woman’s existence. The demands of caring for a child, coupled with societal pressures to be the perfect mother, can lead to a range of mental health challenges. Many new mothers face a steep learning curve as they navigate sleepless nights, feeding schedules, spouses who sometimes fail to offer adequate support, and the constant worry about their child’s well-being. These challenges, while common, can contribute to feelings of anxiety, stress, and even depression.

There are certain physical changes that accompany pregnancy and childbirth, such as hormonal fluctuations, that can also play a significant role in a mother’s mental health. Postpartum depression, for example, affects a substantial number of new mothers. This condition goes beyond the “baby blues” that many women experience shortly after childbirth; it is a more severe and persistent form of depression that can interfere with a mother’s ability to care for her baby and herself.

While not every mother experiences postpartum depression, many still struggle with their new reality. In addition to the physical and hormonal changes, the shift in identity that comes with motherhood can be impactful. Many women struggle with the perceived loss of their pre-motherhood identity, feeling as though they must sacrifice their personal goals, careers, and even their sense of self to fulfill their new role as mothers. This identity shift can lead to feelings of isolation, loss of self-worth, and a sense of being overwhelmed by the responsibilities of motherhood.

Moreover, societal expectations and the portrayal of motherhood in the media often paint an unrealistic picture of what it means to be a “good” mother. The pressure to be constantly nurturing, patient, and selfless while having a spotless home and being an amazing spouse can create a significant burden, leaving many mothers feeling like they are never doing enough. This pressure can be particularly intense for working mothers, who may feel torn between their professional responsibilities and their desire to be present for their children. The result is often a cycle of stress, anxiety, and guilt that can be difficult to break.

Understanding Mom Guilt

Mom guilt is a term that resonates with many mothers. It describes the persistent feeling that they are not living up to the expectations of what a good mother or caretaker should be. This guilt can arise from various sources, such as the belief that one should always be available for their children, the pressure to provide the best possible care, or the internalized notion that any time spent away from their child is selfish.

Unrealistic Expectations

One of the primary reasons for mom guilt is unrealistic standards and expectations of motherhood perpetuated by society. Social media can exacerbate these feelings, as mothers are often bombarded with images of seemingly perfect, Instagram-worthy families, well-behaved children, living rooms without a single thing out of place, and mothers who appear to have it all together. The reality, however, is that these images often do not reflect the full picture. Behind the scenes, many mothers struggle with the same challenges and insecurities, but these are rarely shared in the public eye.

Internal Conflict

Mom guilt can also come from the internal conflict between a mother’s personal needs and her desire to be fully present for her child. For example, a mother may feel guilty for wanting to take time for herself, whether it be for self-care, pursuing a hobby, or simply resting. The flawed notion that a “good” mother must always put her child’s needs above her own can lead to feelings of inadequacy and guilt when she takes time for herself.

Balancing Act

This guilt is further compounded by the expectation that mothers should be able to balance all aspects of their lives seamlessly – including returning to work and maintaining their pre-childbirth work performance levels like nothing ever happened. This is especially true in countries like the United States, where new moms are expected to return to work in as little as 12 weeks after the birth of their child.

However, because maternity leave is unpaid in many states, moms often opt to return much sooner than 12 weeks to relieve the financial pressures that come with the birth of a child. In comparison, many countries in Europe offer paid maternity leave for extended periods. For example, new moms in Greece can receive 63% of their regular wages while enjoying up to 43 weeks of paid maternity leave. The global average of paid maternity leave is 18 weeks – leaving the United States as one of the few countries around the world that does not offer paid time off for employees after the birth of a child.

Whether it’s managing a household, excelling in a career, or maintaining social relationships, the pressure to do it all can leave mothers feeling overwhelmed and guilty when they fall short.

Managing Mom Guilt

While this is a common experience, it is essential to recognize that these feelings of guilt are often rooted in unrealistic expectations. This understanding allows you to take steps to manage these feelings more effectively. One of the most important things a mother can do is to practice self-compassion. Remember that each mother and child are unique, and it only harms you to compare your family to others who may seem like they have it all figured out. In fact, the reality is often the opposite. Recognizing that no one is perfect and that everyone makes mistakes can help alleviate the pressure to be the perfect mother. Being a good mother does not mean being flawless; it means doing the best you can with the resources and knowledge you have.

Another effective way to manage mom guilt is to challenge the unrealistic standards of motherhood that society imposes. This might involve taking a break from social media or surrounding oneself with supportive and understanding individuals who share a more realistic perspective on motherhood. Engaging in conversations with other mothers can also be helpful, as it can provide a sense of solidarity and remind mothers that they are not alone in their struggles.

A good idea is to check to see if there are any mom groups that meet in your area. There are a variety of mom groups that organize weekly playdates and outings for new moms and siblings—some are faith-based, while others are non-religious, and some are even ethnicity-based. Look for a group that is supportive, nonjudgmental, and offers activities that align with your interests and your family’s schedule.

Setting realistic expectations and boundaries is another key strategy for managing mom guilt. This means recognizing that it is okay to say no to certain demands and that taking time for oneself does not make one a bad mother. It is important to prioritize self-care and to understand that a well-rested and mentally healthy mother is better equipped to care for her children.

Putting On Your Oxygen Mask First

Have you ever paid attention to the flight attendant announcements you hear before taking off on a plane? They often include the instruction to “put on your oxygen mask first before assisting others.” This is a perfect analogy to remember when struggling with feelings of guilt as a mother—the best way to equip yourself with the mental and physical energy (the “oxygen”) to care for others is to care for yourself first.

For mothers, self-care is not a luxury – it is a necessity. Taking time to care for oneself is not only beneficial for a mother’s well-being, but it also sets a positive example for children. When children see their mother taking care of her own needs, they learn the importance of self-care and are more likely to adopt healthy habits themselves.

Self-care can look different for everyone. For some, it entails a long bubble bath in a spa-like environment, while for others it means burning off some steam at the gym, or just sitting down in silence and enjoying a kid-free, quiet moment on their own. Spend some time thinking about ways that you can incorporate your own version of self-care into your routine, and make it a non-negotiable part of your daily schedule.

What If You’re Still Feeling Guilty?

Let’s face it – motherhood can be hard, but help is available.

In-Person or Virtual Therapy

Therapy can be a powerful tool to help mothers navigate the challenges they face every day and learn healthy ways to reduce stress and cope with mental health challenges such as anxiety or depression. If you are feeling mom guilt about spending this time away from your kids in order to participate in therapy sessions, it is time to reframe this thinking and recognize that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Therapy can provide mothers with the tools they need to cope with the challenges of motherhood, and taking time to address one’s mental health is an investment in the entire family’s well-being.

One way to manage feelings of guilt when taking time for therapy is to remind oneself of the benefits that therapy can provide. Therapy can help mothers develop healthier coping mechanisms, improve communication with their children and partners, and reduce feelings of anxiety and depression. When you put your mental health as a priority, you will be better able to show up for your children in a more present and emotionally balanced manner.

Plan Activities in Advance

If your family schedule is chaotic, do your best to plan ahead and schedule self-care activities, including therapy sessions, at times that work best for the family. This might involve arranging for childcare or coordinating with a partner or family member to ensure that the children are cared for.

What to Do If You Are Still Struggling

So, what should you do if you have tried many of these tips and continue to struggle? Maybe it is just a sign that you may benefit from receiving some professional help. Consider seeking professional help from a qualified mental health therapist who can assist you in overcoming mom guilt and navigating any other mental health challenges you may be dealing with.

In some cases, medication may be necessary to help you manage symptoms of anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions. It is important to consult with a healthcare provider to determine the best course of action. Finally, be patient with yourself. Mental health is a journey, and there will be ups and downs along the way. It is okay to have bad days and to ask for help when needed.

Improving Your Mental Health at All Points North

At All Points North, you will find an entire team of experienced, dedicated mental health professionals who are ready to help you. Whether you are struggling with postpartum depression, anxiety, or just need someone to talk to, APN’s team of highly-skilled therapists are here for you. You can even access therapy online from the comfort of your home. Seeking help is not selfish and can not only benefit you as a mother but also the entire family. Contact us by filling out our confidential contact form or calling us at 855.934.1178 to learn more.

References

• “Countries with Paid Maternity Leave: How the US Compares – Justworks.” Justworks, Countries with Paid Maternity Leave: How the US Compares – Justworks, 2023, www.justworks.com/blog/countries-with-paid-maternity-leave.
• “Mom Guilt: How to Deal.” Cleveland Clinic, health.clevelandclinic.org/mom-guilt.
• “Postpartum Depression: Types, Symptoms, Treatment & Prevention.” Cleveland Clinic, 12 Apr. 2022, my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9312-postpartum-depression.

Why Reconnecting With Family After Recovery Can Be Difficult

When you break free from a substance use disorder, the process involves much more than merely achieving abstinence. Addiction recovery is also typically a holistic life change that teaches people to think about challenges differently, adopt new behaviors and hobbies, and emphasize key values like openness and honesty.

As much as you may have changed in the recovery process, the same can’t necessarily be said for your family members. Many of them may still think of you as the person who’s been using drugs or alcohol for months or years. They might also simply not understand what it takes to build and maintain a life in recovery.

Granted, some close family members may have become involved in your recovery process. If you attended a substance use treatment center that emphasized family therapy as a core treatment method, your closest family members may have a greater understanding of addiction recovery and what it takes.

But for any family members who haven’t joined in on the process, there can be several challenges that people experience when reconnecting. Some of the most common dangers of reconnecting with family after recovery include:

• Feeling triggered around a family member you used to drink or use drugs with
• Feeling pressured to drink or use drugs
• Family members not understanding why you had to get sober
• Substance use happening at family gatherings
• Becoming emotionally triggered by family conflict

With these dangers in mind, reconnecting with family after recovery should be done with careful preparation and a solid foundation of recovery underneath you.

Tips for Reuniting With Family

Following a few simple tips for reconnecting with family after recovery can ensure that everything goes well when you reunite with family members for the first time. This can be an incredibly positive experience. However, keeping your recovery at the forefront is crucial for preserving your hard-won victory over a substance use disorder.

Make Sure You’re Confident in Your Recovery First

Before going into any potentially triggering or difficult situation, you should ensure that you have a solid footing in your recovery. If you reunite with family members when you’re doubting your sobriety, having intense cravings, or generally feeling unsure of your ability to stay sober, it can quickly become too much to handle.

Before reuniting, ask yourself:

• Am I confident that I’ll be able to stay sober no matter what happens?
• Am I expecting my family members to pressure me to drink or use drugs?
• Will I be able to resist pressure from my family members if it happens?

If you can’t answer these questions to your satisfaction, it might be in your best interests to delay reuniting with your family members until you can. Don’t make the mistake of rushing in headfirst when your sobriety might be on the line.

Bring Along a Sober Friend or Supporter

Perhaps you’ve decided to go ahead and reunite with family members but still want some additional support. In that case, consider bringing along a sober friend or someone who supports you in recovery. Having them by your side can help you resist any temptation or craving you experience.

A trusted friend can keep you accountable to your recovery goals, provide support if you experience cravings or challenges, and generally put you at ease in difficult situations. This can be a valuable resource during the early weeks and months of recovery when triggers and cravings are still powerful.

Set Healthy Boundaries

When you’re reuniting with family members for the first time, setting strong and healthy boundaries can be critical to maintaining your progress in recovery. Family members may not recognize the severity of substance use disorders or the ongoing work needed to maintain sobriety. As a result, they may pressure you into uncomfortable situations.

This isn’t necessarily a personal attack against your new sober lifestyle — they may only be acting the way they’ve always acted around you. But your new life in recovery has changed what you need and what you’re comfortable with.

Setting boundaries at the beginning helps establish these new needs. It also lets family members know what’s important for your recovery and keeps you feeling confident in your sobriety.

If you haven’t had to set strong boundaries with family members before, the process can be a bit unnerving. But don’t let your nerves hold you back from voicing your needs. In making healthy boundaries, there are a few key areas you should focus on:

• Reflect on your personal needs
• Determine what your physical, emotional, and mental limits are
• Be direct, clear, and straightforward when setting a boundary
• Firmly hold your boundary, even if you receive pushback

As an example, imagine that you’re meeting with cousins or siblings at their home for a get-together. When you arrive, they may ask uncomfortable questions about your substance use disorder or what led you to seek addiction treatment.

If you aren’t comfortable discussing this subject, an assertive but healthy boundary might be to say, “I appreciate your concern, but I don’t feel comfortable sharing those details right now. Let’s keep the conversation to topics that aren’t my recovery process.”

This boundary acknowledges their concerns and voices your discomfort about the conversational topic. It can also help move the discussion away from subjects that you aren’t prepared to talk about.

Have an Exit Strategy

Family can be overwhelming at times. While you may be looking forward to a reunion, there’s a chance that there will become too much emotional and mental stress to handle, especially if your family starts to argue, pressures you to drink, or asks too many uncomfortable questions.

If your reunion starts to feel like too much, it’s important that you have an exit strategy in place. This could be as simple as saying it’s time for you to go and simply walking out the door. However, there are often barriers that get in the way of people leaving when they want to.

For example, if you suspect that reuniting with family members may be difficult or triggering, make sure to drive yourself to the gathering. Carpooling with a family member may leave you trapped there until that family member is ready to go or the gathering is over.

Whether you take an Uber, drive yourself, ride a bicycle, or get there using your own two feet, try to arrive on your own. It can be reassuring to have a safe exit strategy in case things get hectic.

Be Open and Patient

As a person in recovery, you know how difficult living with a substance use disorder can be and how hard it is to break free from addiction and achieve sobriety. You also understand how powerful cravings or triggers can be and how much work goes into maintaining your recovery.

In contrast, family members who have never had a problem with substance use or gone through recovery often can’t comprehend what it takes to get and stay sober. As a result, they may have questions or misunderstandings about the process, and being open and patient is often an essential component of a successful reunion.

For example, it’s not uncommon for family members to ask questions such as:

• Why did you need to go to treatment? Couldn’t you just stop?
• You had a problem with heroin, so having a beer should be fine, right?
• Why do you still go to those meetings? Aren’t you cured?

These questions are often well-intentioned, but it can quickly become tiresome to answer them repeatedly. Be as open and honest about your recovery as you’re willing to be and understand that your family members simply don’t have the lived experience to understand what it means to get sober and continue working toward your recovery.

Acknowledge Hurt and Consider Making Amends

When dealing with a substance use disorder, people tend to act or speak in ways that hurt the people closest to them. You may have borrowed money without returning it, lied to your family members, or hurt their feelings in some way while you were still in active addiction.

If this is the case for you, reconnecting with family after recovery may be a great opportunity to make amends. The amends-making process is not just about returning owed money or giving a simple apology. It’s also about showing your family that you hold yourself accountable for your actions and are willing to work to make things right.

Amends are a core component of 12-step recovery groups, comprising the ninth step. But even if you aren’t a member of a 12-step group, the amends-making process can go a long way toward healing the harms of the past and cleaning the slate for a better life in recovery.

Still, there is a lesson to be learned in the fact that groups like Alcoholics Anonymous incorporate amends-making into the end of the process. In early recovery, people may not be mentally or emotionally prepared for this process.

Before starting amends, your recovery foundation should be strong enough that you’re prepared to deal with difficult situations. This also ensures that you have the skills and resources to truly set your wrongs right.

Reach Out for Professional Support

Reconnecting with family can be a beautiful reward for achieving and maintaining your recovery, but it’s okay if this process is nerve-racking or anxiety-inducing. If you’re committed to reuniting but don’t feel quite comfortable enough to do so, consider reaching out to a mental health professional to support you in the process.

Working with an individual therapist can assist you in building the coping skills and emotion regulation strategies you need to navigate difficult family situations. A therapist can also provide you with tools to help curb cravings or avoid potential triggers. They can even help you make amends with your family if that’s a goal for you.

There’s no shame in seeking support in these situations. When people break free from substance use disorders, it can feel like even the most mundane of situations are fraught with tense emotions and powerful triggers. A mental health professional supports you in this journey and helps you learn to thrive in your recovery.

Start Treatment at APN

If you’re ready to seek out professional support, reach out to the team at APN by filling out our confidential online contact form or by calling us at 855.934.1178. Our experts can help you decide which treatment options are the best fit for your needs, and we’ll be there to support you through every challenge you face in recovery.

References

• Heinz A, Beck A, Mir J, et al. Alcohol Craving and Relapse Prediction: Imaging Studies. In: Kuhn CM, Koob GF, editors. Advances in the Neuroscience of Addiction. Boca Raton (FL): CRC Press; 2010. Chapter 4. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK53355/

Disorders involving attachment are more common in children but can often progress into adulthood if the right tools and skills aren’t being utilized to build stronger and healthier relationships. Adult attachment disorders typically refer to when people repeat the same relationship patterns over and over again, despite those patterns leading to poor results.

While adult attachment disorders are not a specific diagnosis in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V), they may still help you identify your own patterns of behavior and start working toward recovery.

Adult attachment disorders can be treated and overcome with deliberate effort. But first, it’s important to understand the different types of adult attachment disorders and how they can affect your life.

Types of Attachment Disorders

There are two main types of attachment disorders listed in the DSM-V, neither of which are adult attachment disorders. Both of these disorders are diagnosed in childhood, typically after the age of 9 months but before the age of 5.

While adults cannot be diagnosed with these disorders, the theory of adult attachment disorders was originally developed as an extension of these childhood conditions. The two disorders that are listed in the DSM-V include:

Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)

Reactive attachment disorder (RAD) is a pattern of behavior where children rarely seek out comfort from adults when they feel distressed and don’t respond to comfort when it is given. Children with RAD are typically withdrawn and may be irritable, minimally social, or rarely show positive emotion.

RAD is only diagnosed in children who have either experienced neglect, deprivation, or limited caregiver involvement. It is thought that this lack of caregiver involvement is what leads to RAD, as the child learns that they cannot rely on a caregiver’s presence to help them in distressing situations.

Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder (DSED)

Disinhibited social engagement disorder (DSED) is thought to be caused by the same conditions as RAD, where children experience neglect, deprivation, or limited caregiver involvement. However, children with DSED respond to this experience in a nearly opposite direction.

Rather than refusing to seek out comfort from adults, children with DSED show a willingness to approach adult strangers without hesitation. They rarely check in with their caregivers and may exhibit overly familiar behavior with adults they’ve never seen before.

What Are Adult Attachment Styles?

Adult attachment theory was developed by Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby in the 1970s. At first, the focus of attachment theory was on children, and they soon discovered that how a parent or caregiver interacted with a child would change the behaviors and emotions of the child.

However, as they continued to work on theories of childhood attachment, it became apparent that these attachment styles may continue with the children into adulthood. Adult attachment styles are typically broken into four main categories.

Secure Attachment

Secure attachment is the healthiest attachment style and is not a cause for people to seek out treatment or therapy. A person with a secure attachment style typically finds it easy to create and maintain relationships, has a positive sense of self-worth, and is comfortable with expressing their emotions and communicating effectively.

People with a secure attachment style are comfortable being on their own as well as being close to others. Since this is generally ideal for most people, moving toward a more secure attachment style is typically the treatment goal for people struggling with adult attachment issues.

Anxious Attachment

People with an anxious attachment style can worry excessively about their relationships. They often crave intimacy and deep emotional connections but experience fear that they will be abandoned or that their level of intimacy is not reflected in their partner.

People with this form of insecure attachment often need constant reassurance from their friends or romantic partners. This can often be interpreted as being needy or jealous and can ultimately drive a wedge into important relationships.

Avoidant Attachment

The avoidant attachment style is the opposite side of the coin to anxious attachment. People with an avoidant attachment style are wary of intimacy, prefer to be self-reliant, and may end a relationship if things are getting too serious.

Adults with an avoidant attachment style may show signs such as:

• Discomfort sharing emotions with others
• Avoidance of getting too close to people
• A fear of rejection
• Perception by others as cold or distant

With this attachment style, there may still be a desire for intimacy, but it is blocked by a fear of rejection or not being accepted. Rather than facing this fear, many prefer to simply end relationships before they get too serious, saving them from the perceived danger to come.

Disorganized Attachment

Disorganized attachment is the rarest of attachment styles and may be the result of trauma or abuse by a caregiver at a young age. People with disorganized attachment show signs of both avoidant and anxious attachment styles, such as making efforts to enhance social intimacy followed by immediately closing off.

The behaviors of people with disorganized attachment are often inconsistent or paradoxical. It can feel like a constant oscillation between push and pull, intimacy and isolation, anxiety and avoidance. For people with this type of attachment style, seeking treatment is typically the best way to start repairing your relationships for the better.

Treating Adult Attachment Disorders

If you fall into one of the latter three categories, collectively referred to as insecure attachment styles, seeking treatment from mental health professionals can help you build and maintain healthier relationships for years to come.

Typically, the primary treatment method for attachment issues is individual or group therapy. But depending on your exact needs, there may be several treatment options available to help.

Talk Therapy for Attachment Issues

Working with a therapist is the best way to work through attachment problems and move toward a secure attachment style. An individual talk therapist can help you dig down into the underlying causes of your attachment issues, help you understand why you react to intimacy in the way you do, and guide you toward healthier coping mechanisms and actionable skills to help shift you toward more secure attachment.

There are several steps to building a more secure attachment style. In therapy, your therapist can guide you through the following steps.

Identifying Your Attachment Patterns

The first step is to identify your specific attachment style and understand how it interferes with your relationships on a day-to-day basis. Your therapist can help you understand the different attachment styles, how they develop, and what the consequences of insecure attachment may be.

Determining which attachment patterns you fall into can help you and your therapist collaborate on a plan to heal your attachment challenges. It can also give you insight into why you act the way you do, what your needs are, and how you can have those needs met.

Challenging Negative Beliefs

Challenging negative beliefs is one of the core skills used by cognitive behavioral therapists, but it’s employed in a wide range of different therapeutic styles as well. This is particularly important for people who are living with an insecure attachment style, as people can be inundated with beliefs like:

• They are not lovable
• They will never be able to have a healthy relationship
• There’s something wrong with them
• They will always be alone
• They will always “mess up” in a relationship

These beliefs are common and can quickly become self-fulfilling prophecies if left unaddressed. They are rarely rooted in rationality or objective fact, yet they can have powerful effects on your mental and emotional health.

In therapy, you can learn to identify the thought patterns that are irrational, exaggerated, or outright falsehoods. Your therapist can then provide you with the skills to challenge these negative thoughts, reframe them in a more positive and rational light, and reap the benefits of healthier thought patterns and behaviors.

For example, your therapist may ask you to consider and reframe the belief, “I am not lovable.” When you have this thought, you might challenge it by saying, “I haven’t had success in relationships in the past, but that doesn’t mean I won’t find love in the future.”

Teaching Emotional Regulation

People with an insecure attachment style will often struggle to manage their emotions in a healthy and productive way. For example, a person with an anxious attachment style may get so fearful that their partner is cheating that they bombard them with phone calls or text messages, only to be relieved immensely when they walk through the door minutes later.

For people with avoidant attachment styles, reaching a point in a relationship where your partner is asking you to be more intimate and open with your emotions can be frightening or irritating. This often leads to people leaving the situation or ending the relationship, all because it was too much fear or frustration to handle.

Your therapist can help you get more comfortable with these emotions, learn to keep them in check, and provide you with healthier outlets and coping skills to help avoid the turbulent swings these emotions can cause.

One such example is learning mindfulness techniques, which can focus you on the present moment and not let your emotions dictate your behavior.

Cultivating Relationship Skills

Adult attachment challenges are ultimately all about relationships and how people respond to challenges within them. This can be difficult for anyone, with or without attachment difficulties, and building relationship skills with a therapist can be just what you need to move toward a more secure attachment style.

Your therapist can help you with setting appropriate boundaries, communicating your needs to friends or partners, and increasing your comfort with intimacy or reducing your anxiety when you’re apart from your partner.

It can take time to build these relationship skills, but talk therapy is the best place that this can be done. You can work with your therapist to understand what’s causing your biggest issues and how they can be addressed and put them into practical application within the day, all leading to stronger and healthier relationships and a greater sense of personal mental health.

Start Talk Therapy at APN Lodge Today

If you’re struggling with anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment and it’s starting to interfere with the quality of your relationships, it might be time to start talk therapy with a professional. Leaving these challenges untreated can ultimately lead to a number of personal and interpersonal difficulties, but you can prevent such obstacles by taking action today.

To learn more about how APN Lodge helps people overcome their attachment challenges, reach out to our team by filling out our confidential contact form or by calling us at 855.934.1178.

References

• Ainsworth, Mary S., and John Bowlby. “An Ethological Approach to Personality Development.” American Psychologist, vol. 46, no. 4, 1991, pp. 333–341, https://doi.org/10.1037//0003-066x.46.4.333.

Working to address the symptoms and underlying causes of PTSD can go a long way toward resolving these workplace challenges. One of the first steps to take is to understand exactly how PTSD can impact you at work — and what you can do to combat those effects.

Causes of PTSD

When people live through traumatic events, they can experience a number of lingering symptoms and challenges that result in a PTSD diagnosis. However, experiencing trauma alone typically isn’t sufficient to diagnose a person with PTSD. Instead, it’s how people respond to traumatic events that can influence whether they have ongoing mental health challenges as a result.

The number of events that could potentially cause PTSD is endless, but common traumatic experiences that lead to ongoing symptoms include:

• Sexual assault
• Being the victim of violent crime
• Military combat
• Having your life threatened
• Kidnapping or torture
• Loss of a loved one

These dramatic and emotionally intense events are extremely difficult for anyone to encounter. It’s normal to feel a sense of shock, detachment, or fear when you live through them, and even for these emotions to continue for a few days.

But for some people, these events mark a change in demeanor and mental health that can last for months or years. When the symptoms from a traumatic event continue for well over two weeks, it’s likely that you’ve developed PTSD.

PTSD is not a mental weakness; it is your mind and body learning to be constantly aware of potential dangers, even if there’s no danger present. This attempt to protect yourself from these dangers, though, can come at the expense of your own emotional and mental health.

The Symptoms of PTSD

PTSD is a complex mental health condition with a wide range of negative mental health symptoms. In the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the symptoms of PTSD are broken into four main categories:

Intrusive Symptoms

Intrusive symptoms are invasive and unwanted thoughts or memories about the traumatic event. This could include experiencing symptoms such as:

• Nightmares
• Flashbacks
• Recurring memories of the traumatic event
• Intense emotions when reminded of the traumatic event

The nature of these symptoms is that they are outside of your direct control, meaning they can happen at any time and be difficult to stop. This often means that these symptoms can occur at work, which can directly lead to workplace challenges for people with PTSD.

Avoidance Symptoms

Avoidance symptoms refer to people avoiding the people, places, or things that are connected to the traumatic event. This could include:

• Not wanting to talk about the event
• Avoiding certain locations that trigger memories of the traumatic event
• Avoiding people who remind you of the traumatic event
• Trying to stifle traumatic thoughts or memories

These symptoms can quickly lead to disruption in numerous areas of your life. In terms of the workplace, they may lead to you avoiding colleagues, turning down clients or jobs, or simply avoiding building meaningful relationships with your coworkers.

Mood and Cognitive Symptoms

People who develop PTSD often experience sudden shifts in their general demeanor, as well as certain challenges with cognitive tasks. This can include:

• Being unable to experience positive emotions
• Perpetually feeling fear, anger, shame, or guilt
• Detachment from others
• Inability to recall important elements of the traumatic event
• Loss of interest in activities that used to be important

Often, people who have developed PTSD can mistake these symptoms as signs of depression due to the similar set of symptoms. Meeting with a mental health professional can help you make the right determination on your specific mental health challenge and guide you toward the best treatment option for you to see meaningful improvement.

Reactivity Symptoms

Reactivity symptoms are a result of heightened sympathetic nervous system activity in people with PTSD. They include symptoms such as:

• Hypervigilance, or feeling like you are constantly on guard for danger
• Anger or irritability
• Difficulty focusing or concentrating
• Being easily startled
• Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep
• Reckless behavior

Essentially, people living with PTSD have a fight-or-flight response that is stuck in the “on” position. This can make it incredibly difficult for people to relax, feel safe, or accomplish daily goals without disruption.

How PTSD Affects the Workplace

Workplace challenges are a common consequence of living with PTSD symptoms. Since the symptoms of PTSD are pervasive and invasive, they can affect people at all hours of the day, including in the workplace.

The Role of Each Category of Symptoms

Each category of symptoms can impact your work life in different ways. For example, sitting down at your desk to work could be interrupted by invasive memories of the traumatic event, making it exceptionally difficult for you to focus on your work projects and perform at your best.

Avoidant symptoms can lead you to not wanting to travel to certain job sites or see certain coworkers, as well as impact the relationship you have with your supervisor.

The mood and cognitive changes from PTSD can also lead to debilitating work challenges. People living with this disorder can lose the motivation to excel in the workplace, lose interest in their jobs, and have perpetual feelings of guilt, shame, or sadness that lead to their work quality beginning to suffer.

On the other hand, reactivity symptoms can make a person living with PTSD feel jumpy, lash out at their coworkers or clients, and make impulsive or reckless decisions that endanger their job security.

The Overwhelming Nature of PTSD Symptoms

For many people living with PTSD, these symptoms are so overwhelming that even the most trivial of work tasks become seemingly insurmountable obstacles to overcome. The stress and fatigue of living with PTSD symptoms every day saps your energy and motivation, and taking on new tasks and projects becomes overwhelming.

Essentially, workplace challenges become just another obstacle faced in daily life that adds to your mental and emotional burden. Without finding a way to address the underlying causes of stress and difficulties, people can quickly burn out at work, fall behind on projects, or decide that they simply cannot continue working.

Thankfully, there are several treatment options designed to help people overcome these personal and workplace challenges that can get you back on track.

Treating PTSD

Decades of research have explored different treatment methods for helping people achieve recovery from PTSD. While breaking free from this disorder isn’t always easy, it is possible, and seeking out effective mental health treatment options can be a life-changing experience.

Individual Therapy

Individual talk therapy has been helping people overcome their PTSD symptoms for generations. It is the gold standard of trauma care, with an abundance of scientific evidence supporting its effectiveness at resolving symptoms and teaching clients to build healthier and more productive lives.

A number of different talk therapy styles can help people living with PTSD start taking the first steps toward recovery. This includes therapeutic modalities such as:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy
• Dialectical behavior therapy
• Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing
• Mindfulness-based therapies

Each of these therapeutic styles takes a slightly different approach to helping people overcome PTSD. What you can expect is that individual therapy will help you dive deep into the underlying causes of PTSD, teach you actionable coping skills to better handle your symptoms, and provide guidance and support in living a healthier life in recovery.

It often takes time to build trust with your therapist and start seeing results. But when you find a therapist who fits with your treatment goals, the improvements in your mental health can change the course of your life for the better.

Group Therapy

Group therapy is focused on bringing people with PTSD together to support one another on the path to recovery. While group therapy is led by a trained therapist and facilitator, the healing power of this therapeutic intervention comes from the group itself.

The unique advantage of group therapy is getting to learn from people who have shared similar experiences, faced similar challenges, and come through the other side toward recovery. At times, these are the people who are best equipped to help someone living with PTSD start making progress in their mental health journey.

But there is another distinctive beneficial element of group therapy: being able to do the same for others. When you start making progress for your own mental health, being able to share that progress with others can be healing and serve to enhance your own recovery in turn.

Family Therapy

PTSD often affects the relationships that matter the most. Whether that’s your spouse, family members, parents, or siblings, family therapy can provide a space to heal these relationships and reestablish a supportive network of loving relationships.

Family therapy is designed to help not only the person living with PTSD but those surrounding them as well. When the family comes together to work toward recovery as a group, it can create a strong foundation of support that propels your recovery process and helps mitigate many of the challenges you may be facing.

Medication Management

Psychiatry and medication management take a different approach to helping people achieve recovery from PTSD. By using targeted psychiatric medications, clients in medication management can find rapid and substantial reductions in the symptoms that most interfere with day-to-day life.

Medication management not only helps you start these prescription medication regimens, but also allows you to track your progress with medication treatment, adjust medication regimens as needed, and try out different medication options if you don’t get the results you were hoping for.

This more detailed approach to psychiatric services can go a long way toward reducing PTSD symptoms, managing any unwanted side effects, and ensuring that you have a long and healthy recovery.

Adjunctive Treatments

Adjunctive treatments are meant to supplement the interventions used to treat PTSD directly. This could include finding treatment interventions for co-occurring mental health conditions, such as depression or anxiety, or simply seeking out other styles of treatment that provide a more holistic sense of health and well-being.

Some common adjunctive treatment options include:

• Deep transcranial magnetic stimulation
• Neurofeedback
• Hyperbaric oxygen therapy

These complementary treatment options can help round out a comprehensive mental health treatment plan and ensure that you have everything you need to create a sustainable path to lifelong recovery.

Start PTSD Treatment at APN Lodge Today

APN Lodge provides a comprehensive suite of mental health treatment services for people living with PTSD and experiencing workplace challenges. If you’re not sure where to begin with treatment, contact us today by filling out our confidential contact form or by calling us at 855.934.1178.

References

• Mendes DD, Mello MF, Ventura P, et al. A systematic review on the effectiveness of cognitive behavioral therapy for posttraumatic stress disorder. 2008. In: Database of Abstracts of Reviews of Effects (DARE): Quality-assessed Reviews [Internet]. York (UK): Centre for Reviews and Dissemination (UK); 1995-. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK75730/
• Sherin, Jonathan E, and Charles B Nemeroff. “Post-traumatic stress disorder: the neurobiological impact of psychological trauma.” Dialogues in clinical neuroscience vol. 13,3 (2011): 263-78. doi:10.31887/DCNS.2011.13.2/jsherin

Here are eight key changes to expect after getting clean from drugs and alcohol and beginning your new life of sobriety.

1. Improvement in Sobriety’s Temporary Challenges

It’s important to first recognize that getting clean isn’t easy. But as you build more tools to stay sober and find the support you need, it will become easier to maintain your sobriety.

When people first get sober, they often experience a number of mental health symptoms that are directly connected to their substance use disorder. These symptoms could include:

• Intense physical withdrawals
• Invasive drug and alcohol cravings
• Struggling with motivation
• Difficulty experiencing positive emotions
• Feeling sad, depressed, fearful, or anxious

As difficult as these experiences can be, they are inherently temporary in nature. For example, physical withdrawal typically ends within days or weeks. Cravings can last much longer, but grow less frequent and intensive with each passing day. Even mental health symptoms improve the longer you stay sober and the more time you give your brain to recover.

Remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Getting clean is just the first step, while achieving recovery is an ongoing process of improving your mental health and well-being for the rest of your life.

2. Unexpected Free Time

When people are in the midst of a substance use disorder, they often spend inordinate amounts of time seeking out their substance of choice, using that substance, and recovering from its effects. Getting clean means all of that time is now free and available, which can often lead to periods of idleness or boredom that can be triggers for returning to substance use.

In addiction treatment, most of this time is accounted for. Residential programs offer several hours of therapy and treatment each day, complemented by experiential therapies or opportunities for recreation to keep people busy, entertained, and active.

Similarly, intensive outpatient programs have several hours of treatment and services to help people focus on their recovery and see improvements in their mental health. This could include individual therapy sessions, peer-to-peer support groups, or meetings with a psychiatrist for medication management.

Yet when people return home from treatment, they often find that they don’t know what to do with their time. This is an often overlooked aspect of the recovery process, as boredom can lead to cravings and restlessness that make maintaining your sobriety more of a challenge than it needs to be.

Finding ways to fill this empty time is of paramount importance for staying sober. There is an abundance of healthy ways people can keep themselves occupied, including:

• Starting an exercise routine
• Going to self-help support groups
• Taking up a new hobby
• Socializing with friends and family members
• Enrolling in school

If you’ve started your recovery in an addiction treatment program, continuing the routines that you started in treatment can be a great way to stave off boredom or idleness as well.

3. Changing Social Circles

Humans are inherently social creatures, and your social circle can have a substantial impact on how easy or difficult it is to maintain your sobriety. While many people enter treatment with the notion of keeping the same circle of friends that they had when they were in active addiction, that often isn’t the most conducive approach to long-term sobriety.

This isn’t to say that you need to isolate yourself from friends and family members entirely, but it’s important to develop a strong social support network for recovery. This means spending time with people who understand the challenges of getting and staying sober, who can support you when you face challenges, and who encourage living a sober lifestyle.

Creating this new social circle isn’t always easy. However, there are a few simple tips that can help you develop a supportive recovery network:

• Attending self-help support groups
• Keeping in contact with friends you made in treatment
• Identifying friends or family members who support you in your recovery
• Meeting people at sober events

Developing just a few close social connections with other people in recovery can be an incredible resource for staying sober and make getting clean and staying clean much easier.

4. Pushback From Friends or Family Members

Many of your friends or family members may not understand recovery or the work it takes to stay sober. Addiction is a complex issue, but there are still pervasive beliefs and stigma that lead people to believe it’s just a matter of willpower, that addiction is a choice, or that addiction is only temporary.

As a result, it is common for people who have just graduated from addiction treatment to hear friends and family members make comments such as:

• “So you don’t have an addiction problem anymore, right?”
• “You were addicted to painkillers, so having one drink shouldn’t hurt.”
• “Can’t you smoke marijuana and still stay clean?”
• “Do you still have to go to those meetings?”

All of these comments can be triggering for substance use and may cause you to doubt your convictions for recovery. Of course, changing the behaviors of others is often an impossibility, but there are a few things you can do to prepare yourself ahead of time.

First, recognize that these types of pushback can happen. When you understand that you may face these types of questions or pressures from loved ones, you can prepare yourself ahead of time for how to deal with them.

Second, make a plan for how to answer these questions and deal with any triggers or cravings they may bring up. This could include setting boundaries with friends and loved ones about your recovery, or having a supportive friend or family member with you in situations where you think this may happen.

Like so many aspects of recovery, this type of pushback is often the most difficult to deal with in early recovery. When you get more sobriety time under your belt and become more confident in your recovery, this pushback can begin to affect you less and less.

5. Changes in Appearance

Addictive substances can have a number of negative effects on your physical appearance. While each substance affects your appearance differently, it’s common for people who are getting clean to start seeing improvements in their physical appearance, such as:

• Clearer skin and complexion
• Brighter eyes
• Stronger and healthier hair
• Weight stabilization
• Improved dental health
• Reduced puffiness and bloating

Some of these improvements in physical appearance can happen almost immediately, while others will continue to improve as you accumulate more time sober.

6. Better Physical Health

Drugs and alcohol of all types can have devastating effects on your physical health. Frequent health challenges that people face during addiction include:

• Liver disease
• Accidental injury
• Skin sores
• Respiratory problems
• Digestive problems
• Muscle loss

Getting clean helps stop the damage you’re doing to your body from substance use, as well as start you on the path to long-term physical recovery.

These improvements in physical health can be further enhanced by starting a regular exercise routine, which is one of the best lifestyle changes you can make during your recovery. Exercise can help you improve your physical health, help manage cravings, and provide you with an outlet for restless energy that keeps you moving toward your recovery goals.

7. New Ways of Coping

One of the most common challenges for people new to recovery is not having effective coping mechanisms for everyday challenges. The simple fact for many people is that they’ve used substances to cope with their problems for years and have let more natural and healthy coping skills slip by the wayside.

Going to addiction treatment or working with an in-person or virtual therapist can help you learn new and healthier ways of coping. Yet putting these skills into practice is the true test of improving your mental health — and after getting clean, you’ll need to learn and implement these coping mechanisms to build a lasting and stable recovery.

When learning new ways of coping, think about what the major challenges in your life are, as well as the healthy ways you can manage them. If you struggle with interpersonal conflict, learning healthier communication skills might be your best coping strategy. If you struggle with anxiety, learning grounding techniques or mindfulness can help you to rein in your symptoms.

This isn’t just a matter of staying sober. Learning these new coping styles is a skill for ensuring you live a healthy, productive, and less stressful life, which can make maintaining your recovery much easier.

8. Positive Mental Health Outcomes

Substance use disorders and mental health challenges often go hand in hand. It’s common for people new to recovery to experience co-occurring mental health conditions such as:

• Depression
• Anxiety
• Post-traumatic stress disorder
• Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder
• Bipolar disorder

In many such cases, these mental health conditions are actually caused by substance use itself. Mental health professionals label this as a substance-induced mental illness, which typically improves dramatically once people have achieved stable sobriety and recovery.

For others, sobriety alone isn’t enough to recover from a mental health condition. Ideally, people who are seeking treatment find dual-diagnosis treatment options, which can treat both mental health disorders and substance use disorders simultaneously.

Alternatively, there are those in recovery who do not have a diagnosable mental health condition but still have mental health struggles. These struggles often appear when people achieve sobriety for the first time, as drugs and alcohol can mask mental health challenges while under the influence.

But if you continue putting in diligent effort toward your recovery, you can see substantial improvement in mental health outcomes. Time and time again, research has shown that people who achieve recovery experience better mood regulation, improved senses of well-being, fewer mental health symptoms, and a host of other holistic improvements.

Of course, if you’re not seeing the improvement in your mental health that you’d like, you can always sign up to meet with a trained therapist to discuss your mental health challenges. Working with a therapist can help accelerate the mental health improvements you see and keep you feeling your best in recovery.

Call APN Lodge for Sobriety Support Today

Getting clean is just the first step of the recovery process. Building a healthier and productive life in recovery is where you will find the most reward.

If you or a loved one is struggling to take these critical steps toward recovery, the team at APN Lodge can help you determine the source of your challenges, guide you toward the treatment options that best fit your needs, and support you every step of the way as you navigate the future. Contact us today by filling out our confidential contact form or calling us at 855.934.1178 to learn more.

References

• Arpin, Sarah N., et al. “Having Friends and Feeling Lonely.” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 2015, https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167215569722. Accessed 3 Nov. 2024.
• Canver BR, Newman RK, Gomez AE. Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome. [Updated 2024 Feb 14]. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing; 2024 Jan-. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK441882/

From a young age, Dave was exposed to alcohol by his family and friends. Unfortunately, these influences only seemed to exacerbate his underlying propensity toward addiction. Before he knew it, decades had passed and he no longer found joy or meaning in life—constantly controlled by the alcohol required to keep his body going.

After an old friend confronted him about his disease, Dave decided to seek treatment at All Points North Lodge in Edwards, Colorado. Having 71 days in the program and 14 months of sobriety on his belt at the time of filming, Dave opened up about his experience with addiction and sobriety in the APN podcast episode, Addiction Treatment Changed My Life: Recovery x Dave. To learn more about his story, check out the full podcast episode or continue reading the article below.

Born and Raised on the Bottle

Dave wasn’t the only person in his family who struggled with addiction.

“I come from a family that was heavily engaged in alcohol,” Dave said. “I had some childhood trauma and a lot of things that led up to getting to where I was.”

At first, Dave tried to brush off the peer pressure. But eventually, it wore him down.

“I kind of held off from the peer pressure and stuff for quite a while,” Dave said. “I mean, I didn’t start drinking until I was about 12. Then, I kind of went through the high school story—you know, drank some and did some other things. During sports I didn’t do it. [But then in] college [I] kind of picked it back up [and this carried] through to my adult life.”

Eventually, drinking became a way of life for Dave.

Using Alcohol and Drugs as an Escape

Not only was drinking a way of life, but it was also a way to escape.

“I really struggled with anxiety from the childhood stuff and I used the alcohol as an escape,” Dave said. “Ultimately, I ended up on heavy medication and heavy alcohol … Then, [my] body [became] accustomed to that method of treatment … and unfortunately it [became] a way of life.”

Like many others who struggle with addiction, Dave found ways to make excuses for his behavior.

“I was still successful in [my] career, still had a family, didn’t have all the true rock bottoms, but the drinking continued and got heavier,” Dave said. “Then the last few years it was full on alcohol. I was drinking every day. Sometimes it was the first thing I did. Sometimes it was the only thing I drank during the entire day. Sometimes it was several days [where] the only thing I had was alcohol.”

Dave opens up about what it’s like to go from having an unhealthy relationship with alcohol to watching it progress into something worse.

“You kind of lose sight of you,” Dave said. “You lose the ability to really control [anything]. It becomes that obsession and that … craving … You react mentally once you get that first taste and it’s so soothing—you just don’t want to leave that feeling. You keep going and going, even though you’re making bad decisions, and you know you’re making bad decisions … with this disease, you will continue doing it and making those decisions [until] you surrender to it.”

The Intervention Dave Needed

What started out as another opportunity to drink later turned into something Dave didn’t expect.

“I went to a fraternity event. It was my buddy’s anniversary party [and] I was in his wedding,” Dave said. “I hadn’t seen a lot of guys in years … There were kegs. There was Jungle Juice. You know, there was plenty of drinking and partying going on. But I was the only guy sitting by the cooler drinking the whole time while everybody else was [socializing] … I sat there and at some point I just decided I was going to bed and I went and got in a tent that wasn’t even mine.”

Dave needed something to change. Luckily for him, there was a special person in his life who helped him see the depths of his disease, inspiring him to seek treatment.

“The next day one of my [friends] called me and said, ‘Hey, I’m really concerned about you … I’ll come and get you right now and take you to treatment, but if you don’t want to go then I’ll be willing to read the five-side burial ritual at your funeral because that’s where you’re going to be.’ And that moment hit me like a ton of bricks. It was like lightning [struck]. I mean, it chilled me to my bone. I hung up and … started making phone calls [to go] to treatment. Two days later is when I arrived in Colorado.”

Coming to Treatment for the First Time

Even though Dave had been dealing with his disease for decades, coming to All Points North was his first time in a treatment program.

“At the end, I was just so tired of drinking,” Dave said. “It was no longer fun. It was just something I did out of necessity. So when I got [to APN] I was happy that I had a solution that might work. I had no idea what I was getting into, of course.”

Upon arriving, many of Dave’s anxieties were put to rest.

“When I walked in the doors, I had [this] first reaction of, wow—this place is incredible,” Dave said. “[Still, it was probably] two or three weeks before I … really truly let my guard down. [I had to] accept and get honest with myself that, Hey—you have a serious problem both mentally and physically … I was not in the best physical shape when I walked in this door. I was 80 pounds heavier and on a fistful of medications. [Now, I’m] not on any of that thanks to this place.”

Life-Changing Staff at APN

Part of what worked so well for Dave was the impact the APN staff had on his healing journey.

“My first meeting was with Dustin, [an APN therapist],” Dave said. “He was absolutely perfect for me—instrumental, really. I’m forever grateful to him for what he was able to get me through and get me to see and how and his guidance [got] me through the steps [and] the pieces of the process.”

At APN, Dave was able to dive into the issues driving his addiction that he previously left unaddressed for years.

“[Dustin] challenged me to overcome some of my fears, to be able to forgive, and to process some of my inner demons … I can remember [one time when] he asked me how I was doing and I sat down and kind of gave him what I thought … was a very good answer. It was a script. You know? … He just sat there and looked at me and goes, ‘I don’t even know who you are when you say stuff like that. Why don’t you tell me a little bit about you and what you’re really going through? Quit being a therapist and tell me about what’s going on inside you.’ … I hated it at the time, but now [I realize it was all] systematic and [that] those things were done for a reason.”

Life is Still Fun Sober

One of Dave’s biggest concerns about getting sober was how it might have impacted his personal life. However, he came to find that the outcome was far different from what he initially expected.

“You know all the things that [people say] when you’re in active addiction and all the fears that you have about how life can be fun at all on the other side [really affected me],” Dave said. “I thought—what am I going to do? [But] I’ll tell you firsthand – at least from my experience – that life is a hundred thousand times better [sober]. It’s way more fun. The people that are your true friends are still there. The people that were just around for the party [are gone and] that’s okay.”

Today, Dave lives a very different life from before, a better life than he even imagined.

“[Before], everything that I like[d] to do in life was taken away by this disease,” Dave said. “Now, I’m totally different … I eat extremely clean. Mentally, I’m totally different because … I’m more engaged with my family. I’m more engaged with my kids. I go on vacations. I’m willing to try new things that I would never have tried before. [Previously], I was completely shut down and now I’m completely open and eager to try new things and truly live a sober life.”

Reflections to Share

Now that Dave has healed from his addiction, he has some things he’d like to share with others who may be facing similar situations.

“Whether you’re an alcoholic or an addict or whatever—life isn’t always skipping through fields of daisies,” Dave said. “There’s difficult times, no matter. But it’s how you approach that and I think that being in recovery and … being self-aware prepares you to be able to handle those challenges without going back to the old ways of flying off the handle.”

For Dave, APN provided him with the space and skills he needed to do that.

“I’m extremely grateful for some of the people that I had an opportunity to work,” Dave said. “APN and its staff is what changed my life. I’m a totally different person mentally and physically and I owe it all to this place.”

If you’re interested in learning more about All Points North and our addiction, trauma, and mental health recovery programs, submit our confidential contact form or call us at 855.934.1178 today. You never know how good your life can get when you allow yourself to receive the gifts of sobriety.

More From Dave

Listen and watch the Dave’s episode of Recovery x APN below, and find more episodes on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts.